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The Sanskrit word
for the male sexual organ is Lingam and is loosely translated as
"Wand of Light." In Tantra or Sacred Sexuality, the Lingam
is respectfully viewed and honored, as a "Wand of Light" that
channels creative energy and pleasure.
Orgasm is not the goal of
the Lingam massage, although it can be a pleasant and welcome side
effect.  The
goal is to massage the Lingam, also including testicles, perineum
and Sacred Spot (prostate) externally, allowing the man to surrender to
a form of pleasure he may not be accustomed to. From this perspective
both receiver and giver relax into the massage.
Men need to learn to
relax and receive. Traditional sexual conditioning has the man in a
doing and goal oriented mode. The Lingam Massage allows the man
to experience his softer, more receptive side and experience pleasure
from a non-traditional perspective.
Beginning
the Massage
Have the
receiver lie on his back with pillows under his head so he can look up
at his partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under his
hips. His legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent
(pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and his genitals
clearly exposed for the massage. Before contacting the body, begin with
deep, relaxed breathing. Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs,
chest, nipples, etc., to get the receiver to relax. Remind the receiver
to breathe deeply and to sink deeper into relaxation.
Pour a small quantity of
oil on the shaft of the Lingam and testicles. Begin gently
massaging the testicles, taking care to not cause pain in this sensitive
area.  Massage
the scrotum gently, causing it to relax. Massage the area above the Lingam,
on the pubic bone. Massage the Perineum, the area between the testicles
and anus. Take time when massaging the shaft of the Lingam. Vary
the speed and pressure. Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base
with your right hand, pull up and slide off, then alternate with your
left hand. Take your time doing this, right, left, right, left, etc.
Then, change the direction by starting the squeeze at the head of the Lingam
and then sliding down and off. Again, alternate with right and left
hands.
 Massage
the head of the Lingam as if you are using an orange juicer.
Massage all around the head and shaft. In Tantra there are many nerve
endings on the Lingam that correspond to other parts of the body.
It is believed that many ailments may be cured by a good Lingam
massage. The Lingam may or may not go soft as you perform this
technique. Do not worry if it doesn't get hard again. You will probably
find that it will get hard, then go soft, get hard again, etc., which is
a highly desirable Tantric experience, like riding a wave, bobbing up
and down. Hardness and softness are two ends of the pleasure spectrum.
If it appears that the
receiver is going to ejaculate, back off, allowing the Lingam to
soften a little before resuming the massage. Do this several times,
coming close to ejaculation, and then backing off. It is important to
remember that the goal is not orgasm in and of itself. Men can learn the
art of ejaculatory mastery and control by coming close to ejaculation
and then backing off on the stimulation. Deep breathing is key here and
will soften the urge to ejaculate. Eventually ejaculatory mastery will
allow you to make love as long as you want and you can become
multi-orgasmic without losing a drop of semen. Orgasm and ejaculation
are two different responses that you can learn to separate. The result
is a very expanded sex life.
External
Sacred Spot massage
 Find
and massage the male Sacred Spot. There is a small indentation about the
size of a pea or maybe larger midway between the testicles and anus. Be
gentle and push inward. He will feel the pressure deep inside and it may
be uncomfortable at first. Eventually, as this area is worked on and
softened, he will be able to expand his orgasms and master ejaculatory
control. You can massage his Lingam with your right hand and
massage his Sacred Spot with your left hand.
 Try
pushing in on this spot when he nears ejaculation. The man may have
strong emotions come up during access to the Sacred Spot. Be the best
friend and healer he could have in that moment. You, the giver, are
creating a place of trust and intimacy.
Ending
the Massage
When he feels complete
(with the massage), gently remove your hands cover him and keep him
warm. Most importantly, allow him to rest quietly for several minutes.
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